The Next Step ?!

When you think about transitions often it seems to be an uncomfortable thing for many, if not a scary time of uncertainty for most.I have been feeling this for the last week, a persistent shadow that has been hovering over me. And the form that makes that shadow has been doubt, failure, your just average, not good enough, will you ever make anything of your self, grow up barton it's time you realized your chasing dreams that will never come true. I know this is probably coming out of know where to many of you reading but this internal battle has been waging for the past couple of months. With Africa 3 days away and Elevate graduation the day after we get back I'm more than excited, but my shadow keeps telling me you will never be able to do this anymore, this will be you last trip, and it all came to a crashing halt. I know in my heart that I was born to do this, created to give my every fiber to Jesus, and my fear is now that this transition is in it's final turn will anyone even have trouble replacing me or was my impact for Christ so little that it was like I was never there. I tell Heather all the time, peace is not in me unless I'm completely being spent for the Gospel. I feel this John the Baptist spirit in me alot of times, just throw me out there with some camel skins and feed me locust, whatever it takes I'll do anything. It is hard for me to feel like I'm not doing great things or changing the world, I don't want to settle for normal or the easy or what every one else is doing. Christ deserves more from me he deserves everything from me. With the chapter coming to an end there has been fear and doubt, what now? But with all that fear and doubt I know that Christ has been faithful and he has always been there way beyond what I deserve, and I know that he will continue to remain faithful regardless of where I'm at or what the geography looks like. Africa, Graduation,
Marriage, those are some big moves up ahead, the cool thing is that God already knows this and is not surprised, nor is he surprised about what is ahead after that. I trust him, no matter what it may be. With Christ the best days are always ahead and the best is yet to come. Before I finish I just want to thank everyone that reads my Blog. It truly blows my mind why anyone even bothers with all this crazy stuff I write but it truly encourages me to see the people out in the world that want to share life with me and be a friend, I thank all of you so much for dropping in and keeping in touch y'all are so awesome. Also one of my best friends is blogging again Brooke Anderson if you could drop in and check her out, leave a comment it would mean the world to her, again thank you so much for reading. I will post again the night before we leave just in case we don't get to blog there. Be praying for us, luv you guys, out!