Rope around the Waist

It has deffinatly been a new set of Glasses for me the past week, Elevate is over after 3 yrs, and I dont see any of my amazing friends anymore, Raymond my Brother is following the footsteps I walked several years ago after heading off to bootcamp (Marine Corp) today. And Heather and me are trying to be patient and understand that God's plans are not our plans. I feel like there is this House I'm on the outside of wanting to get in and I'm looking through all these diffrent windows seeing from all these diffrent angle's and perspectives of what is going on. It's tuff for me alot of times because I dont have a peace of mind in the mundane. I have peace because of Christ, but there is always this Holy Dissatisfaction saying there is more to be done. More preaching,Loving,reaching,serving,helping,praying,blessing,giving,
growing,giving it all I've got!!!! to be done. But now I feel like I'm stuck in this ordinary life with 9-5 routine, now mountains to climb, or countries to explore. But looking back this new ordinary for me will be a challange for me because I have never had ordinary to face. I remember the week before I came home from the Marine Corp, I sat in my room looking at my Bible and talking to God saying no more running, God everything I have, everything I am, everything I could ever be it is all your's now. I made the decision to devote the rest of my life to full time ministry, all those yrs I spent partially committed when I knew he wanted and would not stop until he got all of me. There were extremly tuff days and night's but there have been others who have suffered far more. All these windows, is it that God does not want me getting in the house but instead is trying to send me out to bring back others, I believe so. I could stand and look all day but I have tasted, so many have not, and they must. It's funny because I was wondering what God was going to speak to me this time in Africa and he made it loud and clear. Kenya again, after all that time with wonderful friends in Swazi and Mozambique he reminded me of the call and the Dream. But the timing for now is God's and my growth to be prepared. There has been great fear in my heart as of late of Failure, what have I accomplished, or what diffrence did you make. But I'm reminded that people fear not because of the opposition, but because the have forgotten that the unbeatable opposition they see has already been defeated on the cross. My heart is burning to Go, but God is yeilding me to stay, why? there is much to be learned. A whole new season, But one thing I know everything I've got and everything I am, I'm gonna give to God with all I've got in this new Journey. I mean seriously I get married in 25 days, God is probably like boy thats why I'm holding you back the biggest journey you'll ever face is a quarter away. But it's like brother Wayne always says, Boy you take care of your bride and God will take care of his bride. HAHA I love it. Stay patient Barton, or better yet Stay content!!!!